Friday, March 31, 2017

Our Last Break-Up: Haturudi Nyuma Kamwe

by Yule and Neke

____________

I do not come with a paI.
Do not come with a pause button and a mute button. Talk here, listen here, you.
 

____________

Azure:

I love you, and I really want this to work, but I do not come with a pause button and a mute button.

Regal Ah Kala:

I LOVE YOU TOO. AND I AM SORRY YOU FELT THAT WAY. NOT THAT YOU ARE THAT WAY. YOU ARE NOT, I DON'T THINK. I AM DESPERATE FOR THIS TO BE US. I AM WORKING ON US. TRULY.
 
Purple:

I see that, lately. Especially jana night. Well, before. I could see the struggle to not pick a fight, to keep it light, and I appreciate it. More than you may ever know.

Kala: I DO KNOW IT. ALMOST AS WELL AS YOU WANT, NEED. ME TO...? MAY-HAPS, ME TOO.

Az you were:

Talk here, listen here, you do not get to regulate what I express and how I express myself.

Regal. Ah. YEZZIR. Colour: I DO NOT MEAN TO. I REALIZE, HOWEVER, THAT I DO, OR AT LEAST, THAT THIS SEEMS TRUE.

Purple: Here I finally feel heard. It's like a breath of fresh air. Or, oxygen to a suffocating man. Or thing, to be more apt.)

Kala: VERY APT, IN ALL. FOR MEN, IN A HUMANITY SENSE, AND FOR THINGS TOO. NOT IN THAT ORDER, EVOLUTION SPAKE, BUTT 😁😁😁

Aah; $ure: You don't get to talk for I don't know how long, as I listen, then when I speak, you withdraw. You want a woman who will seat at your feet and listen as you go on and on then only speak when you say it is okay?

That's not me.
 
A Colour:

I WANT YOU. WHEN I SPEAK, I SPEAK BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME TO BE COMFORTABLE. YOU ALWAYS DO. I AM COMFORTABLE TALKING WITH YOU. WITH PEOPLE. COZ IT TAKES A LOT, GIVES ME A LOT THOUGH.

IT IS MY GROVE. 

Purple:

And I have no problem with you talking. I love that you feel comfortable enough to talk freely.

But it has to work both ways, you know? It can't be a one man show, surely?

Akala:

TOO TRUE. AND I YAM CONTRITE, IF ONLY BECAUSE YOU MUST SEE THAT WE ARE NOT A ONE-MAN ONE-WOMB-MAN TELL, WE ARE A MANY MEN MANY WOMEN IN US 😂

ASS SHOW.

A Colour:

YOU OFTEN SAY THAT YOU CAN'T TALK JUST AFTER I GET IN. BY THE TIME YOU START TALKING BACK, I AM SITTING HERE THINKING ABOUT WHY, NOT HOW.


You-le-Ngeos:


Phlegmatic, again. I know, that's labeling, so let's go with, I am more of an introvert than you are.

TRUE TRUE TRUE 😘 BUTT 😅 YOU ARE AN EXTROVERTED INTROVERT, IF LABELS MUST MATTER ENOUGH TO MUSTER, TO MY INTROVERTED EXTROVERT.

The why has nothing to do with you, it is neither a bad thing nor a good thing.

YEZZIR!

It just is. I need time to adjust.

I AM ALL FOR IT.

In fact, it works very well that you're the talker, so I get space to adjust.


D'AWWW, YOU.
 

STAHP IR.


Otherwise we'd just be sitting there in awkward silence wondering who killed Robert Ouko.


WAS OUKO AN ABAGUSII OR DHOLUO, NOW THAT #WEAREWAANDARLING?


It goes against everything I believe in. If we cannot engage, with mutual respect and trust, knowing the back and forth is out of a need to learn, not a need to win, if you suspect most of what I do is out of malice, meant to undermine you, I am not the woman for you.

NEVER.
 
I AM YOURS BECAUSE I CONSIDER YOU DEARLY MINE.YOU HAVE MALICE IN YOU, AS  DO I, BUT ARE NOT IT, AND NEITHER AM I.

Perhaps, I don't know. But I would never do or say anything to hurt or undermine you.


I HAVE CUM TO REALIZE THIS. OK. COME😎


Not consciously, not even when I am so mad I'm seeing red. Not even in jest. You need to trust this.

I AM STILL HERE. IN A SPATIAL AND COGNITIVE SENSE, THIS SAYS.... WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIT... ROCK PAPER SCISSORS LIZARD SPOCK 😗😚


And it is not my job to make you feel like a man. Validate your manhood. If you do not feel manly by virtue of being a man then I cannot help.

TRUE. YOUR TRUTH. WHICH IS NOT ABSOLUTE, I WOULD HOPE.

And I am very sorry that the world has been unkind to you.

THE WORLD HAS ALSO BEEN KIND. TO AND AROUND ME.

But I will not be punished for things I was not a part of.

NE-YO'S PART OF THE LIST AND USHER'S HIS MISTAKES ARE ON MY PLAYLIST BACK-TO-BACK FOR THIS VERY REASON.
 
If you want something to take your frustrations out on, I am not the woman for you.


I DO. YOU ARE NOT IT. YOU ARE MINE. MY SOMEONE. MY PERSON. FOR I AM YOURS. I TAKE MY FRUSTRATIONS OUT IN MY THING THAT WRITES.

I.

LOVE.

YOU.

AZURE.

THIS WILL WORK. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO. IT JUST WILL. BECAUSE I KNOW WE WANT IT TO.

It is comforting to know that we both want it to. Work. And I will keep trying, for as long as I can.


Thank you for trying with me.
 

I YAM NOT TRYING, TAIMANJIN 😇😂😶

P.s This is turning out to be really cool. I am actually enjoying it, especially since I express myself better in text. Again, thank you for listening.

THANJ-US. YOU WITH ME. WE LISTEN WHEN WE DO, are UNLISTED LISTENERS WHERE WE UN-ABE CANNING OUR CANNONS OF CARRIER CARROTS.

THIS IS OK.

I LOVE US, FOR I LOVE THIS MY ME, AND IT LOVES YOU.

TRULY MADLY DEEPLY.

KARANJA AND CHARITY JUST CALLED, AS AN fyi 😍🎻



We did, after all, use that Pause and mute button.
We talked, here, listened here.

Us.

Lest We Ever Forget.





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