by Yule and Neke
I do not come with a paI.
Do not come with a pause button and a mute button. Talk here, listen here, you.
I love you, and I really want this to work, but I do not come with a pause button and a mute button.
Regal Ah Kala:
I LOVE YOU TOO. AND I AM SORRY YOU FELT THAT WAY. NOT THAT YOU ARE THAT WAY. YOU ARE NOT, I DON'T THINK. I AM DESPERATE FOR THIS TO BE US. I AM WORKING ON US. TRULY.
I see that, lately. Especially jana night. Well, before. I could see the struggle to not pick a fight, to keep it light, and I appreciate it. More than you may ever know.
Kala: I DO KNOW IT. ALMOST AS WELL AS YOU WANT, NEED. ME TO...? MAY-HAPS, ME TOO.
Az you were:
Talk here, listen here, you do not get to regulate what I express and how I express myself.
Regal. Ah. YEZZIR. Colour: I DO NOT MEAN TO. I REALIZE, HOWEVER, THAT I DO, OR AT LEAST, THAT THIS SEEMS TRUE.
Purple: Here I finally feel heard. It's like a breath of fresh air. Or, oxygen to a suffocating man. Or thing, to be more apt.)
Kala: VERY APT, IN ALL. FOR MEN, IN A HUMANITY SENSE, AND FOR THINGS TOO. NOT IN THAT ORDER, EVOLUTION SPAKE, BUTT
Aah; $ure: You don't get to talk for I don't know how long, as I listen, then when I speak, you withdraw. You want a woman who will seat at your feet and listen as you go on and on then only speak when you say it is okay?
That's not me.
I WANT YOU. WHEN I SPEAK, I SPEAK BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME TO BE COMFORTABLE. YOU ALWAYS DO. I AM COMFORTABLE TALKING WITH YOU. WITH PEOPLE. COZ IT TAKES A LOT, GIVES ME A LOT THOUGH.
IT IS MY GROVE.
And I have no problem with you talking. I love that you feel comfortable enough to talk freely.
But it has to work both ways, you know? It can't be a one man show, surely?
TOO TRUE. AND I YAM CONTRITE, IF ONLY BECAUSE YOU MUST SEE THAT WE ARE NOT A ONE-MAN ONE-WOMB-MAN TELL, WE ARE A MANY MEN MANY WOMEN IN US
YOU OFTEN SAY THAT YOU CAN'T TALK JUST AFTER I GET IN. BY THE TIME YOU START TALKING BACK, I AM SITTING HERE THINKING ABOUT WHY, NOT HOW.
Phlegmatic, again. I know, that's labeling, so let's go with, I am more of an introvert than you are.
TRUE TRUE TRUE BUTT YOU ARE AN EXTROVERTED INTROVERT, IF LABELS MUST MATTER ENOUGH TO MUSTER, TO MY INTROVERTED EXTROVERT.
The why has nothing to do with you, it is neither a bad thing nor a good thing.
It just is. I need time to adjust.
I AM ALL FOR IT.
In fact, it works very well that you're the talker, so I get space to adjust.
Otherwise we'd just be sitting there in awkward silence wondering who killed Robert Ouko.
WAS OUKO AN ABAGUSII OR DHOLUO, NOW THAT #WEAREWAANDARLING?
It goes against everything I believe in. If we cannot engage, with mutual respect and trust, knowing the back and forth is out of a need to learn, not a need to win, if you suspect most of what I do is out of malice, meant to undermine you, I am not the woman for you.
I AM YOURS BECAUSE I CONSIDER YOU DEARLY MINE.YOU HAVE MALICE IN YOU, AS DO I, BUT ARE NOT IT, AND NEITHER AM I.
Perhaps, I don't know. But I would never do or say anything to hurt or undermine you.
I HAVE CUM TO REALIZE THIS. OK. COME
Not consciously, not even when I am so mad I'm seeing red. Not even in jest. You need to trust this.
I AM STILL HERE. IN A SPATIAL AND COGNITIVE SENSE, THIS SAYS.... WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIT... ROCK PAPER SCISSORS LIZARD SPOCK
And it is not my job to make you feel like a man. Validate your manhood. If you do not feel manly by virtue of being a man then I cannot help.
TRUE. YOUR TRUTH. WHICH IS NOT ABSOLUTE, I WOULD HOPE.
And I am very sorry that the world has been unkind to you.
THE WORLD HAS ALSO BEEN KIND. TO AND AROUND ME.
But I will not be punished for things I was not a part of.
NE-YO'S PART OF THE LIST AND USHER'S HIS MISTAKES ARE ON MY PLAYLIST BACK-TO-BACK FOR THIS VERY REASON.
If you want something to take your frustrations out on, I am not the woman for you.
I DO. YOU ARE NOT IT. YOU ARE MINE. MY SOMEONE. MY PERSON. FOR I AM YOURS. I TAKE MY FRUSTRATIONS OUT IN MY THING THAT WRITES.
THIS WILL WORK. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO. IT JUST WILL. BECAUSE I KNOW WE WANT IT TO.
It is comforting to know that we both want it to. Work. And I will keep trying, for as long as I can.
Thank you for trying with me.
I YAM NOT TRYING, TAIMANJIN
P.s This is turning out to be really cool. I am actually enjoying it, especially since I express myself better in text. Again, thank you for listening.
THANJ-US. YOU WITH ME. WE LISTEN WHEN WE DO, are UNLISTED LISTENERS WHERE WE UN-ABE CANNING OUR CANNONS OF CARRIER CARROTS.
THIS IS OK.
I LOVE US, FOR I LOVE THIS MY ME, AND IT LOVES YOU.
TRULY MADLY DEEPLY.
KARANJA AND CHARITY JUST CALLED, AS AN fyi
We did, after all, use that Pause and mute button.
We talked, here, listened here.
Lest We Ever Forget.