Sunday, February 6, 2011

Memoirs of Kalekye [Excerpts from a Fresher's diary] by B'Jay

This Post is as appears on B'Jay Ongeti's FB "notes" page, arrrrchived Thursday, 19 August 2010 at 12:39 am.

Day 1: Moi University Main Campus! The University with a difference :D

Day 2: Dear diary. This place is cool!! It's far from my hometown though - Kathiani. And I miss my boyfie, Mutiso!! :(

Day 3: Finding it tough to choose what to put on with my orange skirt. Should I put on the green top or the blue sweater?? Arrghh! (Am running late for the CU -Christian Union- meeting! Later!!)

Day 7: There's this thing I've heard all over the place. Some "Fresha Pap" thing. And boy don't people have names for it! Ati 'Jikonect na Fresha'. Mara 'Fresha ni sasa, kama si sasa ni sasa hivi - or mara thatthat'. I also heard "90 freshaz in 90 days . Gosh! These Campus boys! Makes me miss my Mutiso.

Day 8: Mutiso, oh Mutiso. He didn't call me today. Could he have 'Promulgated a Fresha' in that new campus of his??? Nimpate! Atajua malenge ni mboga!

Week 2: My roomy says I should quit being shade. Ati am Shagz munduz. She says I should undergo Rural Electrification.Whatever that means. She's from Nairobi by the way. (I know Kiserian isn't exactly Nairobi, but I'll let it slide)

Week 3: Fresher's Nite tonite. I'll borrow my Roomie's hipsters. (Oh, I joined Facebook today. Don't see what the fuss is all about). Met this fourth year dude. He's a ka-hunk! If Mutiso doesn't call me leo. . .

Week 4 [9.00pm]: At the fourth year guy's room (what was his name again?). Just watching a movie. I'm a virgin.

Week 4 [9.16pm]: I'm not a virgin. Popped that cherry...pap! (Fourth Year playing I just had $@* ft. Akon in the background)

Week 4[9.27pm]: The hell! Mutiso can shove it. I got myself a fourth year!

Week 8: Dear Diary. I've been missing CU meetings. Going to the pub instead. Started with Black Ice now am on Naps. Nappy Boy, some call it. Others 'the Emperor'. Its cheaper. Besides, Black ice ni kama kupepeta jiko, Naps ni kamakuwasha moto ya gas. We' unge'prefer gani?

Week 10: I stopped eating at the Mess. Skuizi nakula mabatini. Menu ni CNN (Chapo Nne Ndondo). Ama Ugaliions (Ugali with plain soup). Damn Fourth Year doesn't talk to me anymore. Nilimfanyia nini?? Ama ni yeye alinifanyia?

Week 15: Fourth Year can shove it. Mutiso can shove it. All men can shove it!!!  No wait, there was this guy at CU... maybe I should go back?

Week 15.5: CU was cool. Hope the Naps in my breath wasn't evident. I was chewing PK Menthol though. See you next sem!!

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