Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I am me by Flora Rudolf Kimie

This post was put up by my 18-year old sister on Saturday, 12 February 2011 at is almost totally unedited, and to me, quite impressive. Going places sis...


Many a times we hide from us... I; 4 instance, hide from me in the spirit of tryna make society fit in me instead of me blendin in it as i am...

Truth b told, our heterogeneous society has many dimensions, faces n edges... N we cant always blend in in it... N neither can we camouflage in it, b'litl ourselves as a defense mechanism n expect to survive... Maybe for a while only...


Not al who knw about me knw me but al thos hu know me def hav an idea of a lil bit of this n that about me.
My name, my tribe, my 'u name it' n al those atha minute details are jus but a preview of me...

Being brought up in a humble and humbling environment like 'Nyahururu'... #pause, that's a town in kenya... play#, appalled by the poor conditions ruling the region, hard life is al i knw...

Mum brought us up in pain and agony. Not that we were an itch-that she cud easily scratch- or a pain in the neck; but because life squashed, squeezed n smashed al of her efforts to giv us a lavish life, frustratin n even depressing her.
In case u r wondering who 'us' refers to, that's Fred, Pauline n Flora. Yaani, us.

I rem spendin several days and even nights without food... And watchin my neighbours with those big yet inwardly compressed tiny teary eyes, hopin they wud invite me for lunch or sth...

If we were lucky enaf, then that wud mean githeri for breakfast, lunch and supper... So if u are feelin me kiasi, u can imagin hw simple foods like chapo, chipo, chico wud make me 'us' feel... I was that kid that once saw jam and wandad wetha that was blood... I was that kid that saw a carpet and stared in amazement, hopin that it wud fly or sth... And yeah, i was that kid that rejoiced wen mamma gamme a coin coz i knew she had always wanted to do that bt couldnt...

We watched mamma as she added up coins to ensure that she had enaf for our school fees. And therefore we knw that we had to work hard to make her proud... And we did just that; taking up all first positions... In mamma's arms we wept, n even questioned God's undying luv. But we didnt giv up... And believe you me, we were a happy family.

With those few coins,,, we managed to squeeze our humble selves in lavish xuls... And that's wea it al began.
For the 1st time it was clear that some 'towns' declined to associate with one that aint even recognized much in our maps. In atha wadz, i dint fit in....

Many constituted themselves into classes quite distinct from mine... N my 'chopnes' din min a thing...
So to make me feel better, i had to remind them n me too -dadi ni sonko-... Blah blah blah... Long story short, that's how i choz to liv in xul... Feel rich inwardly... Maybe tell some so. N that way i convinced me that I was...

Then one day,,, death rudely budged in and took mamma away from me'us. My bestfriend. My only source of motivation. My shield. My shoulder. My lover... Jus like that... For many nights i peered into the dark night blankly. And i sneered. And almost made air gasp for air. Life made no sense at al... For she was my life...

But later on i thot... Mamma wasnt ashamed of being her. Never... So y should i be afraid of being me!!!
Y should i run away from all the beautiful things she taught me???

So here i am... I proudly admit that hard life is stil the only friend i know... As i write this i am in a two-bedroomed apartment; tiny n warmed up by the love of my family...

I don give a damn about my surroundings n how intimidatin they may be coz mark my wads


I 'WE' am'ARE' me'US'.


  1. Wooh!! Deep, way deep....N Nyahe aint that bad, now is it?

  2. Well...I have to say Nyahe was awesome till 2008. Now it's just a shell, but I have my reasons, as am sure Flo does in writing this. Cheers

  3. It's difficult coming to terms with some of the bile life throws at us really. I remember thinking how I'd take care of ma when I finally got to that place where I could...and each damn day I think how she'd be proud of this or proud of that as I do it. Only rest comes from knowing that she did her utmost to get me where I am today. And I intend to honour that memory with my actions.

    To quote me:

    Eventually, there is wisdom in avoiding a quarrel between our past and our present, lest we lose the bearing on our future.

    To quote the late MJ's poem "When Babies Smile":

    We take the plunge, take the dive

    Into the abyss

    We are suspended awhile

    Those are moments when babies smile.

    Those are moments when fate is unsealed

    Nothing is impossible and we are healed

    We can soar, we can fly

    Walk on fire, navigate the sky

    In the light of a glittering star

    There's no distance, nothing is far

    Those are moments of innocent guile

    In the glow

    We are suspended awhile

    Those are moments when babies smile.

    Pity we don't get to share the moment with those we'd rather be sharing it with


Your comments are highly appreciated.